Nexus. Question Square. Time Lord Christmas Part 1

[dens_extra_pups]

((Warning: Doctor embarrassment and boob comments.))



Police Box: *would probably not be too terribly out of place in the Backwater, if it hadn't just crash landed, and wasn't a dark blue*

Blackout: *looks over from where she's laying on the big white couch with her baby on her chest. Snerk*

Whirl: *looks over sleepily from where she's laying next to Paean and being comfortable and warm* Freakin' TARDIS crashed.

Police Box: *doors open slowly*

Whirl: Dadumdadum...

man: *is tall, looks human, somewhat pale in skin coloration, on the slender side, and is wearing a dark burgundy suit jacket over his dark grey pants and black dress shoes. Hair that was once dark in color is quite grey now. He's got a bit of a crazed look to him as well. He reaches to help someone out of the TARDIS, and seems to be fussing over them as he does so*

woman: *stands about to the shoulder of the man. Is slightly darker in skintone than her companion, clad in a sleeveless dress with a sparkly bodice and black skirt, with very curly hair pulled into a messy updo. She holds a black purse with a silvery design on the front, and does not look very pleased to find that the TARDIS has landed somewhere unfamiliar*

Whirl: Hey, Doc, who's the floozy?

Blackout: *hand over the pregnant woman* Did you take a wrong turn, Doctor?

Whirl: *unprintable* Lemme out, I can't *beep* see.

The Doctor: *startles and turns* My word...

woman: *slight frown* I beg your pardon.

Blackout: Pardon for what?

Whirl: *bleeeeep*

woman: *seriously* I am not a floozy. My name is Professor River Song. I'm an archaeologist.

The Doctor: *moving to approach the pair, caution mixed with curiosity clear on his face* *to the one who spoke* No, if the TARDIS brought us here, it was for a reason. She never does anything for no reason.

Whirl: And you have failboobs!

Blackout: *quiet snerk at the Doctor's words* I know. You've told me before.

The Doctor: ... *small frown* I have?

Blackout: You were big on scarfs back then.

Whirl: *blankity beep beep blank*

The Doctor: *blink. BLINK! Snerk* You really weren't joking about being a formidable foe, were you, Blackout?

Professor Song: *ignoring the cursing woman, will move to talk to the person that The Doctor is speaking with*

Blackout: *rumbles a chuckle* Recognize me now, do you? *takes the hand off Whirl*

Whirl: Boobless wonder!

Professor Song: *stops walking. Turns to Whirl* *totally serious* My chest would stop an ox at twenty paces. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Whirl: *sticks out her leather and lace-clad chest* Oh yeah? I thought you looked like a cow.

Professor Song: Quality over quantity, darling.

Whirl: MINE're gonna be useful. *sticks out belly too*

Blackout: *looks at the insult party that's developing, then turns back to the doctor* It's Christmas.

The Doctor: That would explain why we were brought here. *nods* Though the timing could have been a bit better.

Blackout: Oh? *pats the back of the other little figure on her chest*

The Doctor: Yes. I would have rather not been about to crash into a planet.

Blackout: At least you missed?

The Doctor: *snerk* That's true.

Blackout: *checks the writing on a red velvet bag and rumbles amusement as she sees that the writing is now clear* *tosses it toward him* The elf said to give that to a friend.

Whirl and Professor Song: *now getting truly, wickedly, original in their jabs*

The Doctor: *catches the bag easily* *surprised* Thank you.

Blackout: Ever seen a Christmas elf?

The Doctor: *small frown* Not to my knowledge.

Blackout: Huh. Well open it.

The Doctor: *surprised sound as he opens the bag and sees a package of jelly babies*

Blackout: *rumble* Keep looking.

The Doctor: *even though he tends to claim he doesn't care for Christmas, he's almost giddy as he looks through the bag and finds other little doodads and momentous of his past, including a bottle of ginger beer* *much laughter*

Blackout: Looks like junk.

The Doctor: It's not junk, it's sentimental! *holds up a little plastic Cyberman figure* *grin* This is cute. I like this.

Blackout: *snort* There's something for the ox-boobed, too.

The Doctor: Oh, don't let her hear you call her that. *still amused*

Blackout: ...She bragged about it.

The Doctor: That doesn't mean she'd appreciate hearing it from someone else.

Blackout: Organics are weird.

The Doctor: Says the woman who has been organic before.

Blackout: And I was weird. *pats the bitty on her chest again*

The Doctor: Is that really such a bad thing?

Blackout: My brats say it isn't.

The Doctor: *amused headshake* It really isn't. *then he's blinking and giving you a surprised look, Blackout* You have children now?

Blackout: *snorts* I did when you met me last. The two oldest females have brats of their own. *flips Whirl's skirt back down as that woman shows her "Kiss me!" shorts at the perfect moment in her conversation with Professor Song*

Whirl: *follows up with the perfect verbal zing. Is having a ball*

The Doctor: *very surprised* I see.

Blackout: *sees his glance and shakes her head* Whirl's not one of mine. She's Nightwish's.

The Doctor: *very surprised now* *has clearly heard of Nightwish in his travels* She belongs to Nightwish?

Blackout: The younger one of the two who sometimes Travel. *nod* She's not usually this squishy.

Whirl: *without breaking stride* Squish this! *follows with some crushing wit aimed at the professor*

Blackout: *snort*

The Doctor: Ah, so she is of the same race as yourself.

Blackout: Different make, though we share blades. Her husband's Quadriate.

The Doctor: The most notorious partiers in their sector of the galaxy?

Blackout: *snort* He's also one of the Thirteen.

The Doctor: *boggling now* One of the thirteen most powerful warriors ever to be born in the entire sector? *has heard the stories*

Blackout: *dryly* He's the blacksmith. *more patting of the bitty back*

The Doctor: Ah... *small nod, then his attention's going to the small bag that's got River's name on it. Will move to give it to her*

Professor Song: *takes it without looking* I... can't think of a comeback for that. You win, tart.

The Doctor: *grin* Losing your touch, love?

Professor Song: *zings him good even as she looks in the bag and finds some luxury chocolates and a pen that will never run dry*

The Doctor: Merry Christmas, Sweetie.

Blackout: *growls and sits up then as Whirl faints* *shoves her baby at the Doctor, not noticing that she's interrupting a mushy look moment between him and Professor Song* Hold this.

The Doctor: *startled sound as he's presented with a baby that's nearly the same height as he is*

Professor Song: *ditto that!*

Blackout: *scoops Whirl up in her hands and scans her*

Whirl: *on the verge of falling asleep. Is low on energy, and her blood sugar's kind of wonky right now* Heh. I won. Gheck.

Blackout: *hand toward Professor Song* Her blood sugar's low. You have three of the pink salted yakk milk caramels. Give me one.

Professor Song: *quick to do so* Is she alright?

Blackout: *massive alien fingers delicately take the candy and hold it to Whirl's mouth, gruffly urging her to eat* They call it a difficult pregnancy.

Whirl: *tired nommings. Too woozy to even mouth off*

Blackout: Careful, that's my finger.

Whirl: *wearily* Meat...

Professor Song: *concerned* Will she be alright?

The Doctor: *quietly singing a song he learned the words to a very long time ago, and cuddling the baby currently using his shoulder as a pillow*

Blackout: *gruffly* I'm not a medic. I'm a soldier. *pulls out a wish and holds it near Whirl*

Whirl: *beep* it, Jim... Meat... *snerks at sparkles, and then wearily starts wolfing crunchy chicken patties slathered in sauce*

Professor Song: *curious about the sparkles now* How did you do that?

Blackout: *frowns down at her for a second, then looks back to Whirl, remembering that the ailing are often comforted by attention* It was a wish.

Professor Song: A wish?

The Doctor: *from where he's cuddling Paean and singing a Gallifreyan lullaby* There are things here that even I am unable to explain.

Blackout: Part of the life of a Guardian Fae Changeling. They can manipulate matter at the atomic level.

Whirl: Pixie dustzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Blackout: *lifts Whirl's face out of the food tray, and reaches down to offer what's left to the Doctor and Professor Song*

The Doctor: *surprised* Thank you.

Blackout: *frowns intently as she wipe's Whirl's face, then wraps the woman in the big soft blanket that the LOLed bot brought with her* Someone needs to eat it.

Professor Song: *snorts at that, then looks from her husband to the huge cybernetic being on the couch* So... where did you two meet?

Blackout: *without looking up from tending Whirl* Ireland. I and my first husband ran across him one foggy morning during the uprising of 1916.

The Doctor: It was the Easter Uprising. I never did figure out what got everyone rioting.

Blackout: The British publicly executed the leaders of the rebellion. *looks down, and then uses her foot to drag a human size couch over to them*

Professor Song: *takes the tray of food from the Doctor and sits* Thank you. *studies the food and dots at it a little* The Easter Uprising... *looks to the Doctor* Why am I not surprised?

The Doctor: *slight shrug, is inspecting one of the patties* All I knew at the time was that the man was named "Jazz".

Blackout: *snort* He was a cop that came around all the time. I married him after he was dead and I nearly bit it myself.

Paean: *is a determined snuggler!*

Professor Song: *slight eye roll of amusement at the Doctor's seeking of information instead of replying to her seeking of information*

The Doctor: ... He didn't seem like a cop to me. But what do I know?

Blackout: It was an easy job, if something had come up you'd have seen him in action. *nods to the bitty snuggler* That's his kid. Paean.

Paean: *hides face. Sleepin', Mama!*

The Doctor: What surprised me was how affectionate he was being with you, Blackout.

Blackout: *amused sound* Why? Because I was big and ugly?

The Doctor: No, because you backhanded him and he landed on me.

Professor Song: *can't help it, she's cracking up now*

Blackout: *snerk* I used my elbow.

The Doctor: It still hurt.

Blackout: *still amused* Why were you spitting when you got up?

The Doctor: Because I learned what Irish soil tastes like. *seriously* It wasn't pleasant.

Professor Song: *going to hurt herself if she keeps laughing like that*

Paean: *lifts her head and looks at the woman, exposing soft brown eyes clouded with sleep. Takes one of the pieces of human nom from the tray the lady is holding and crams it into the lady's laugh, then makes a happy sound and lays her head down again*

The Doctor: *now it's his turn to laugh, though he's doing his best to do so quietly*

Professor Song: *amusement flickering in her eyes as she gives Paean a Look, will work on eating what was shoved in her mouth*

Blackout: That's her male creator showing. Do you want me to take the scraplet so you can eat?

The Doctor: *quietly* If it won't upset her...

Blackout: *leans down and grasps the baby* The older brats pass her back and forth all the time. *sits up* Hold on. *sets baby in her lap next to Whirl and then grabs something and wings it*

Breakdown: *YELPS as he catches the orange at speed, upside his head*

Dallas: *from the blue mech's hand* Blackout! Quit abusin' mah husband! That's MAH job! *laughs*

Blackout: *flicks a second fruit at a gentler speed toward the human woman* Merry Christmas.

Dallas: *catches the fruit easily* Same t' you, Blackout. And a happy New Year.

Blackout: *sits back* Whatever.

Professor Song: Where's mine?

Blackout: *looks down at her and then scans for more gift targets* Finish your meat first.

The Doctor: *can't help it. He's snickering, even as he reaches for one of the patties* *is totally picturing Missy and Blackout facing off, and it's quite amusing*

Professor Song: *rolls her eyes and works on eating another patty* These are pretty good, even with all the sauce.

Blackout: Swindle co. A dollar a pound. *how does she know that? The wish didn't make 'em, it ordered 'em and she paid for 'em*

Professor Song: *nods and gets something out of her purse. Will write the information down in her diary*

Blackout: *watches that, and reads the rest of the book while she's at it* Saying "Optimus" three times gets you customer service.

Professor Song: *looks up, quirking a brow* I'll keep that in mind, then.

Doctor: *swallows a bite of chicken* Optimus as in Prime?

Blackout: No. The dragon. *wings a fruit toward a flash of orange and black on the other side of the brownstones*

lbWakeJumper: *is that sound of impact, and the subsequent string of obscenities in a multitude of languages*

eLumen: *looks around Lucy Snow and Aoife's building and chirps at Blackout*

Blackwater: *gives the little guy his orange nicely in the middle of his chest*

eLumen: *excited chirping, will move to show Uncle Ratchet the orange!*

lbWakeJumper: *will shove Ratchet into view*

Blackout: *gives the eyesore an orange but good!*

Ratchet: *startled yelp, scrabbles to keep his balance, only to topple as he fails to gain purchase with his cane*

lbWakeJumper: *cuss! Scrambles to help Ratchet up*

Ratchet: *laughing as he flops onto his back and waves WakeJumper off. To Lumen* Is that the surprise you were telling me about, youngling?

eLumen: *grin for Uncle!* Yup.

Nomad: *peeking at Blackout himself now, challenge and laughter in his eyes*

Ratchet: *intakes deeply, then takes WakeJumper's hand, chuckling a little more as he does so* You're right. It does smell good.

lbWakeJumper: The fruits are called clementines, but I've also heard them called Christmas oranges. *will help Ratchet back to his feet*

Ratchet: *wipes his face and sniffs his hand*


back at the couches


Blackout: *watching Nomad shake his little booty at her*

Doctor: *watching with amusement* And whose child is that?

Professor Song: Does it matter? They're cute. *also amused*

Blackout: *watches as the sparklet switches to thumbing his nose at her* He's Ratchet and Ironhide's.

Ratchet: *comes into sight to speak softly to his son*

Nomad: *dissenting gesture, and then waggles his hands on either side of his head at Blackout*

eLumen: *coming over to chirp and click to Nomad*

Professor Song: *watching the baby and what seems to be an older child, a slight hint of wistfulness on her face*

Doctor: *slight frown as he studies the child bot. Thinks there's something familiar about the youngster*

Blackout: He wants a clementine, but he's too young to throw things at.

Nomad: *heard that and is frowning deeply as he thinks about it*

Professor Song: Why not just give it to him in a nice manner?

Blackout: *snorts* And insult him? The kid's part Ironhide. *shows a fruit to Lumen*

eLumen: *clickstorm!*

Doctor: How sturdy is his head?

Blackout: *tosses the clementine to Lumen so that the youngling can catch it*

eLumen: *catches the clementine and clicks a bit more. Then he's tilting his head and studying Nomad*

Nomad: *on his toes to see that coveted prize more closely*

eLumen: *chirp. Will drop the clementine on Nomad*

Nomad: *deep frown as he takes the fruit and smears it on himself properly*

Doctor: That works too, I suppose. *smile*

Professor Song: *can't help but laugh at the babby cuteness*

Ratchet: *watching his son and absently rubbing orange peel on himself*

eLumen: *clicking and giving pointers!*

lbWakeJumper: *one with his facepalm*

lbEclipse: *getting video of the cute!*

Nomad: *smush smush smear* *satisfied look at his handiwork*

eLumen: *much clickstorm and congratulating!*

Blackout: *quiet snort that her daughter echoes without waking*

Ratchet: *asks his son if the bitty's ready to sing, and then hobbles after Nomad as the little one races away toward the subdivision by way of answer*

eLumen: *moves to reach for his dad*

lbWakeJumper: *subsonic rumbling for his son, much cuddling*

lbEclipse: *happy chatter as she herds her family back toward the subdivision so caroling can resume*

Professor Song: Well, they're certainly having a good time.

Blackout: They're celebrating Christmas the WakeJumper way.

Doctor: The WakeJumper way?

Blackout: *holds up a hand for silence as she hears 'We Three Kings' float up on the still, softly snowing air*

Doctor: *nods his head in understanding, and looks like he's trying not to pull a face*

Professor Song: It's interesting that they're able to not sound mechanical.

Blackout: *snort* *dismissively* Just because you can't manage to speak without an accent. We're more sophisticated organisms.

Doctor: *seriously* I wonder how the Cybermen would fare against Cybertronians...

Professor Song: *sternly* Oh, no you don't.

Blackout: *rotten snerk and starts playing footage of Mouse vs Cybermen*

Doctor: *boggling at the focused bugstomping going on*

Professor Song: ... *much facepalm* And that's why I told him "No".

Blackout: Those things aren't even a match for my organic pet.

Professor Song: I don't want to know.

Doctor: I do. *grin*

Blackout: *soft whistle*

trumpet: *answers from the forest over across the street behind Blackout's couch*

Blackout: *subsonic rumbles that can be felt in the pavement*

rumbles: *reply*

Doctor: *looking toward the trumpet and the rumbles*

Professor Song: *looking a bit uneasy now*

Paean: *clicks in her sleep as Whirl burps without waking*

Cow: *comes limping majestically into sight, contentedly waving a branch she took off a weeping willow. Small ears are moving happily, causing the fur on the sides of her head to twitch*

Doctor: Oh my goodness! *must get closer and pet the fuzzy!*

Cow: *sees small person and stops moving, her ears and vocalizations showing her calm interest. She's not an outgoing old lady, but she's not adverse to visiting*

Professor Song: Well, at least he's happy. *amused smile*

Blackout: Isn't that what pets're for? That's what my brats tell me.

Professor Song: I wouldn't know. I never got to have a pet.

Blackout: *hand pocket. Tosses the woman a chip* Press that and talk to it.

Professor Song: *will press where indicated* And what will this do?

chip: *flies out of her hand and becomes a pale greyish blue pixilated shape*

Professor Song: *startled laugh*

chip: No. *flashes into an angular orange shape as it says it*

Professor Song: Oh, aren't you cheeky? *amused*

chip: Yes yes yes yes yes! *blue as it says it*

Professor Song: *much amusement* Shall we go be cheeky and annoy the Doctor together, then?

Blackout: *over the gleeful "Yes yes yes yes yes!"* You going to name it?

Professor Song: *sly little smile* Spoilers.

Spoilers: *buzzes around*

Doctor: *thanking Cow for the willow branch she gave him. Is also giving gentle scritchies*

Cow: *talking to him quietly as she sets him on one of her digging tusks and carries him and his new pet tree over to her master*

Professor Song: *chuckles softly* He's having fun.

Blackout: He just got a new pet too. *snort*

Professor Song: *looks* Well, it's not like he hasn't the room for it.

Blackout: Yeah. *pats Paean's back*

Professor Song: So what's the reason you have a mammoth for a pet?

Blackout: *shrug* Two of the things had already followed us home. When I met that old cow she was fighting despite a broken leg.

Cow: *reaches her master and leans her bum against Blackout's leg*

Professor Song: *small nod, looking to Cow and the Doctor*

Doctor: *talking quietly and gently to Cow, even as he continues to give scritchies*

Blackout: As for why I have pets... *snort* I have kids.



Continued here.